This week's tirade:

The Kiss


I'm sitting at my computer playing this incredibly addictive little game my wife sent me, when I hear her call from the other room, "Do you want to see the Kiss?"

I have to think about it for a second or two, then it dawns on me what she means. She's been channel surfing and has landed at an encore presentation of the MTV awards, and it's Madonna's big Brittany smooch. I pause the game and go into the living room and look at the screen -- "I saw the beginning of this", I said, "but I just thought it was a couple of her dancers dressed as whores and turned to something else." This time I continue watching long enough to see that -- yes, the two dancers dressed as whores were in fact Brittany and Christina, and my that was one really sloppy, wet, open moutn kiss that the material slut laid on her succesor -- though perhaps not a lurid as the conservative talk radio junkies were making it out to be. I've seen girls kissing girls with more interest than that kiss -- so that wouldn't be enough to flake me out. What I did find disturbing is that Madonna is old enough to be Britt's mother -- and that's why the kiss was soooo creepy. My wife's biggest reaction was to ask why she didn't go and lay a great big wet one on Missy Elliot when she came on stage to join them -- Was Madonna a racist? She'd soul kiss the white girls but not a soul sister? The real testimony came from the audience reaction shots -- they'd flash around to different people out in the audience while the musical number was going on, many seemed to be cheering on Madonna far more exuberantly than her recent performance track record would warrant. Justin Timberlake (who was making John Belushi faces at the start of the number) looked like he suddenly figured out why his relationship with Brittany didn't work out. The true opinion though came from Snoop Doggy Dogg -- the rap star extrordanaire and budding porn director. The old dogster actually looked embarrased!! Honest and true -- if they play it again look at him. He looks as if he walked in on his momma doing the wild thing in the middle of a public park!

But at least it got Madonna's picture in the papers again...