Celebrities on parade...

Yeah, one of those rants. Hey, I'm working black Friday (fortunately, at a place that isn't going to be abnormally busy), and when it comes to people who make more in a day than I do all year I'll rant all I want.

First there's Heather Mills -- she's getting beat up pretty bad in the press, what with breaking Sir Paul's heart and all, but that whole relationship is something that probably should have never happened. It would have been more appropriate for her to have married me than Paul McCartney -- at least I'm only 3 years older than her. The Beatles were already world famous before I was born -- they were nearly split up by time she was. But I digress, the latest headline has her berating the world's wealthy elite -- on the verge of her getting millions of pounds from Sir Paul for doing nothing more than being married to him for a couple of years. A little ironic, don't you think...

Then there was the big headline about Tom Cruise and the Gay Question (we have the truth inside!). There are only 2 things in the world that Tom Cruise has shown genuine, true, and lasting love for - Scientology, and himself. He's a guy, and I suppose you could twist that into meaning he's gay, but that's a real long stretch. Ooops, I forgot a third thing -- he also has genuine affection for his career. Enough of the snarkiness -- unless he really is a sick and twisted person, he has to love his kids. At least he has to love little Suri - I can't imagine any father seeing a child he fathered and not being in love forever with that child.

But I'm a normal guy...